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In over ten years of working in the field of trauma and addiction recovery, I have come to see addiction as a multi-dimensional condition touching all aspects of an individual's life. Their biology, their psychology, their social network, their vocational and educational aspirations, as well as the spiritual dimension of their existence. I see it has its genesis in the DNA of the individual, predisposing them to its development under certain inter-related psychological and environmental conditions. I see it being related to chronic trauma related stress, and the absence of stable and nurturing relationships, particularly but not exclusively with primary loved ones early in life. I see it being related to the absence of a role model or guide to help them navigate through internal responses to a troubling and stressing situation( s) or environment( s), and being guided to do so with non-harming strategies. I see the straining and isolating nature of these experiences sending messages to the brain that can lead to the development of psychological and physical pain, as the two are inter-related, as well as to the human need to cope with that pain. One one level, I see addiction as a conditioned adaptation to the unbearable pain that stems from chronically unmet needs.
Dr. Gabor Mate, a physician working with people struggling to live with and overcome alcohol and drug addiction on Vancouver's Downtown Eastside, an area in the poorest postal code in Canada, writes in his very good book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction", that 'Addictions always originate in pain, whether felt openly or hidden in the unconscious. They are emotional anesthetics.' He goes on to say 'Not all addictions are rooted in trauma, but I do believe they can be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours.'
Through chronic addictive behaviour, over time the unhealed hurt can lead to things like arrested emotional development, arrested vocational development and its tethering to underachievement and underearning, fragmented relationships, impaired health and well-being, spiritual disconnection from self and the world around them. It can lead to acting out the unhealed hurt through violence toward self, or other, or community property. The latter of which can lead to jail time and loss of freedom. Chronic addictive behaviour can lead to the loss of time, and with it the loss of opportunities to cultivate a life worth living. Addiction destroys and devastates life in those who seek it, and in those who love the ones that do. How many of us are not touched by the life of someone who is engaged in addictive behaviour? Has such a behaviour taken a hold in yours?
Before we talk about what you can do about addiction, let's be sure it's addiction we're talking about. Using dependence on a substance as an example, a behaviour qualifies as an addiction if it meets three or more of the following criteria over a 12 month period:
Tolerance: Either taking more to achieve the same effect, or taking the same amount that has less effect.
Withdrawal: Either experiencing characteristic withdrawal symptoms for a substance, or doing something to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
Usage: Either the amount used or duration of use, is more than what was intended.
Control: Either trying repeatedly to control usage or reduce usage.
Time: Either using, recovering from use, or trying to get the substance to use, is how a considerable amount of time gets spent.
Blinkers On: Either reducing or abandoning important work, social activities and/or leisure activities to focus on using.
Negative Consequences: Continuing to use in spite of the awareness of the development of physical or psychological problems.
If it's addiction you're dealing with, and you know in your heart you want to stop, here are a number of things you can do about it right now.
Detox: If it's an addiction involving alcohol or drugs, consider going to a medical detoxification facility in your area, to safely withdraw your body and mind from the substance( s). You will be supervised by a doctor and/or nurse and other support staff while you transition to a sober and clean life. If there is no such facility in your area, consider consulting with your physician, or a doctor in a local walk-in clinic or hospital emergency ward, or with a counsellor in an addiction focused outpatient clinic, for information and support about the withdrawal process.
Safety: This is a critical issue in early recovery: creating a safe world around you to continue to abstain from the addictive behaviour. This is where a 12 Step meeting like Alcoholics Anonymous can be very helpful. There, you will find other people who also want to stop. Gathering together with like-minded people is not to be underestimated as a potent medicine for recovery. It is. Addiction grows in isolation. You begin to turn things around when you can give yourself permission to come out of isolation, that sense of feeling separate from yourself, from the human community, and from the natural world around you. Moving out of isolation can occur through the synergy created from the process of sharing your experiences with others, and listening to them while they share theirs with you. When done in a safe environment, it's one way to begin healing the effects of addiction. If there is no 12 Step meeting in your area, or you 'd just rather not "go there", ask yourself this: Who in your life is on your side? Who in your life can you call when you feel like using, and don't want to, when you need to talk your way through a difficult or triggering moment? Who can you call when you just need to talk? Consider a 12 Step meeting if the answer is no-one. If there is someone there to reach out to, then consider asking them to agree to be there for you as you adjust to living your life clean and sober.
Start Developing a Plan. Think of it as a map to help you get to your desired destination. Here are a few things to consider as you begin developing your map to prevent a return to the addictive behaviour: Is where you spend your time free of the behaviour you're trying to stop? Are you taking care of your body with good nutrition, healthy fluids, and regular exercise your body enjoys? Are you being kind to yourself, or are you still committing small acts of violence against yourself? Do you know how to relax? Is there a hobby or talent you enjoy that you could bring back into your life? Can you identify the people, places or things in your life that could trigger the addictive behaviour? Do you know why you started the behaviour in the first place? Do you know who you are?
Stopping an addictive behaviour is no small feat. It's something few people can do alone. Many people benefit from meaningful emotional support to launch them into recovery and a self-affirming way of living. Needing or wanting support is not about weakness. Our brains are hardwired for relationships. It's how we're built. Wanting or needing support is about being human, not weak. Allow yourself to come out of that frightening, lonely place and reach out for the support you need. You'll be so glad you did.
If you know you're dealing with addiction and you're not sure you want to stop, talking to someone you can trust can be enormously helpful while you come to the very best decision for yourself. Take the time to talk it out. You're worth it.
Where can you turn? To a local addiction clinic, a compassionate doctor or nurse, a good friend or trusted relative, a mental health professional who understands addiction, a non-judgmental minister or rabbi in your community, a person at a local Alcoholics Anonymous (or other 12 Step) meeting, an online forum or service, to name a few. Take the time to talk it out. Having a future could depend on it.
In over ten years of working in the field of trauma and addiction recovery, I have come to see addiction as a multi-dimensional condition touching all aspects of an individual's life. Their biology, their psychology, their social network, their educational and vocational aspirations, as well as the spiritual dimension of their existence. I see it has its genesis in the DNA of the individual, predisposing them to its development under certain inter-related psychological and environmental conditions. I see it being related to chronic trauma related stress, and the absence of stable and nurturing relationships, particularly but not exclusively with primary loved ones early in life. I see it being related to the absence of a role model or guide to help them navigate through internal responses to a troubling and stressing situation( s) or environment( s), and being guided to do so with non-harming strategies. I see the isolating and straining nature of these experiences sending messages to the brain that can lead to the development of physical and psychological pain, as the two are inter-related, as well as to the human need to cope with that pain. One one level, I see addiction as a conditioned adaptation to the unbearable pain that stems from chronically unmet needs.
Dr. Gabor Mate, a physician working with people struggling to live with and overcome alcohol and drug addiction on Vancouver's Downtown Eastside, an area in the poorest postal code in Canada, writes in his very good book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction", that 'Addictions always originate in pain, whether felt openly or hidden in the unconscious. They are emotional anesthetics.' He goes on to say 'Not all addictions are rooted in trauma, but I do believe they can be traced to painful experience. A hurt is at the centre of all addictive behaviours.'
Through chronic addictive behaviour, over time the unhealed hurt can lead to things like arrested emotional development, arrested vocational development and its tethering to underachievement and underearning, fragmented relationships, impaired health and well-being, spiritual disconnection from self and the world around them. It can lead to acting out the unhealed hurt through violence toward self, or other, or community property. The latter of which can lead to jail time and loss of freedom. Chronic addictive behaviour can lead to the loss of time, and with it the loss of opportunities to cultivate a life worth living. Addiction devastates and destroys life in those who seek it, and in those who love the ones that do. How many of us are not touched by the life of someone who is engaged in addictive behaviour? Has such a behaviour taken a hold in yours?
Before we talk about what you can do about addiction, let's be sure it's addiction we're talking about. Using dependence on a substance as an example, a behaviour qualifies as an addiction if it meets three or more of the following criteria over a 12 month period:
Tolerance: Either taking more to achieve the same effect, or taking the same amount that has less effect.
Withdrawal: Either experiencing characteristic withdrawal symptoms for a substance, or doing something to avoid or relieve withdrawal symptoms.
Usage: Either the amount used or duration of use, is more than what was intended.
Control: Either trying repeatedly to control usage or reduce usage.
Time: Either using, recovering from use, or trying to get the substance to use, is how a considerable amount of time gets spent.
Blinkers On: Either reducing or abandoning important work, social activities and/or leisure activities to focus on using.
Negative Consequences: Continuing to use in spite of the awareness of the development of psychological or physical problems.
If it's addiction you're dealing with, and you know in your heart you want to stop, here are a number of things you can do about it right now.
Detox: If it's an addiction involving alcohol or drugs, consider going to a medical detoxification facility in your area, to safely withdraw your body and mind from the substance(s). You will be supervised by a doctor and/or nurse and other support staff while you transition to a sober and clean life. If there is no such facility in your area, consider consulting with your physician, or a doctor in a local walk-in clinic or hospital emergency ward, or with a counsellor in an addiction focused outpatient clinic, for information and support about the withdrawal process.
Safety: This is a critical issue in early recovery: creating a safe world around you to continue to abstain from the addictive behaviour. This is where a 12 Step meeting like Alcoholics Anonymous can be very helpful. There, you will find other people who also want to stop. Gathering together with like-minded people is not to be underestimated as a potent medicine for recovery. It is. Addiction grows in isolation. You begin to turn things around when you can give yourself permission to come out of isolation, that sense of feeling separate from yourself, from the human community, and from the natural world around you. Moving out of isolation can occur through the synergy created from the process of sharing your experiences with others, and listening to them while they share theirs with you. When done in a safe environment, it's one way to begin healing the effects of addiction. If there is no 12 Step meeting in your area, or you 'd just rather not "go there", ask yourself this: Who in your life is on your side? Who in your life can you call when you feel like using, and don't want to, when you need to talk your way through a difficult or triggering moment? Who can you call when you just need to talk? If the answer is no-one, then consider a 12 Step meeting. If there is someone there to reach out to, then consider asking them to agree to be there for you as you adjust to living your life clean and sober.
Start Developing a Plan. Think of it as a map to help you get to your desired destination. Here are a few things to consider as you begin developing your map to prevent a return to the addictive behaviour: Is where you spend your time free of the behaviour you're trying to stop? Are you taking care of your body with good nutrition, healthy fluids, and regular exercise your body enjoys? Are you being kind to yourself, or are you still committing small acts of violence against yourself? Do you know how to relax? Is there a hobby or talent you enjoy that you could bring back into your life? Can you identify the people, places or things in your life that could trigger the addictive behaviour? Do you know why you started the behaviour in the first place? Do you know who you are?
Stopping an addictive behaviour is no small feat. It's something few people can do alone. Many people benefit from meaningful emotional support to launch them into recovery and a self-affirming way of living. Wanting or needing support is not about weakness. Our brains are hardwired for relationships. It's how we're built. Wanting or needing support is about being human, not weak. Allow yourself to come out of that frightening, lonely place and reach out for the support you need. You'll be so glad you did.
If you know you're dealing with addiction and you're not sure you want to stop, talking to someone you can trust can be enormously helpful while you come to the very best decision for yourself. Take the time to talk it out. You're worth it.
Where can you turn? To a local addiction clinic, a compassionate doctor or nurse, a good friend or trusted relative, a mental health professional who understands addiction, a non-judgmental minister or rabbi in your community, a person at a local Alcoholics Anonymous (or other 12 Step) meeting, an online forum or service, to name a few. Take the time to talk it out. Having a future could depend on it.
In over ten years of working in the field of trauma check here and addiction recovery, I have come to see addiction as a multi-dimensional condition touching all aspects of an individual's life. Dr. Gabor Mate, a physician working with people struggling to live with and overcome alcohol and drug addiction on Vancouver's Downtown Eastside, an area in the poorest postal code in Canada, writes in his very good book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction", that 'Addictions always originate in pain, whether felt openly or hidden in the unconscious. To a local addiction clinic, a compassionate doctor or nurse, a good friend or trusted relative, a mental health professional who understands addiction, a non-judgmental minister or rabbi in your community, a person at a local Alcoholics Anonymous (or other 12 Step) meeting, an online forum or service, to name a few. In over ten years of working in the field of trauma and addiction recovery, I have come to see addiction as a multi-dimensional condition touching all aspects of an individual's life. Dr. Gabor Mate, a physician working with people struggling to live with and overcome alcohol and drug addiction on Vancouver's Downtown Eastside, an area in the poorest postal code in Canada, writes in his very good book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction", that 'Addictions always originate in pain, whether felt openly or hidden in the unconscious.